Defining Normal

by : Kelsey Cline

What is normal? Who is normal? I have been faced with this dilemma for the past couple of years. From the several dictionaries that I have searched, the definition of normal is something along the lines of: "conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural". So from that definition, anybody or anything that does not conform to the decided standard is not normal. Who decided this standard that is mentioned in the above definition? Do I decide for myself? Is it decided by my peers? Or is it decided by the environment that I grew up in?

I am currently attending college pursuing a degree in Special Education. Many of my classes compare people with disabilities to their "normal" peers. These statements in the past couple of years have forced me to think about who my normal peers are. Everybody talks about them, but I have yet to be told who they are. It makes me question whether I am normal or not. Using myself as an example, let's dive into the definition to figure out whether I am normal or not.

Because the definition stated above still lacks what the "standard or the common type" actually is, let's use the proposal that the definition can be set by peers. Growing up in a public school system in middle class suburbia, the unspoken, but well known definition of normal set by my peers was "a person who is not weird, who does not have a disability, and somebody who fits in." So basically the popular kids are the normal ones. Although, after knowing some popular kids, I don't see how that can be right. I, myself, was certainly not a popular kid and I do not think I would have had as nearly a good high school experience as I did if I had to fit in those parameters. I didn't play any sports, I took AP classes, and I played percussion and the clarinet for the school marching band. I was a total band geek (despite my trying to hide it for the first couple of years), so of course I'm going to be weird, and I'm not going to be popular and fit in with the cool kids! I just didn't realize that being in band was going to make me not normal. If I had to give up everything I loved in high school, just to attempt to not be weird, and fit in with the crowd, I'm happy to be classified as not normal.

I have several non-normal points against me (recall the nerdy bank geek thing), but let's look at my family to see if they are any more normal than me. Let's see…I have a mom, a dad, and a sister. My parents are still married after 26 years, which, let's face it, isn't exactly normal anymore with the divorce rates these days. My parents only had the two of us, and that doesn't match up to the average 2.3 kids per family, so I guess that's a couple more non-normal points. Oh yeah, my sister has autism. That automatically threw me out of the running based on the reactions from my peers in school. So based on all the points that I've racked up from my family, I guess it's safe to assume that I am not normal.

The definition that I grew up with from my home differs from the definition set at school. The way I grew up, I learned that everybody has quirks, and everybody is different. That completely contradicts the definition of normal set by the environment at the school. So now the big question is, what should I believe?

I have taken the definition set by my peers in school, and the environment in which I grew up, and my experiences in the past several years, and I have formed my own definition of normal. My definition is blurry, but can be described as "an inappropriate way to describe oneself when comparing themselves to people who are different." This definition may seem harsh, but then again, the situations in which this term was used that I've witnessed have also been harsh.

The above statement is my personal definition of normal, and I know that not everybody is going to agree with me. Instead of just accepting other people's definitions and taking that as fact, please decide what normal is for you. If you truly believe you know who is normal, and who is not normal, then I can't stop you from believing what you believe. What I do want people to consider before deciding on a personal definition is this: a person only knows his or her own life, and it is the only life he or she will ever know, so why do other people get to decide whether it is normal or not? What if somebody judged you on the way you walk, or the way you talk, or the way you go about life? What if because of your differences, people called you "not normal"?

What I have proposed to people regarding this definition has rewarded me a lot of weird looks, but what I advocate to people is that nobody is normal, so we should just remove that word from our dictionaries, at least with regards to people. If nobody fits the stereotype, there really is no use for the word, so let's not use it. Everybody has something different about them, or a deficit in some area of life. If everybody has them, I just do not understand how some people are considered normal, and other's not. I have not found a person who does not have some quirk about them, so until I find that perfect person with no flaws, I maintain that there is nobody out there who is truly normal.